“I’m putting the team first like everyone tells me to, but I’m getting left behind,” he said.

“What do you mean?”, I replied.

“Well, I’m going into practices trying to do what I know the team wants me to do, but I’m still getting criticized. I’m still not dominating. And all it’s making me do is get frustrated, and making me fear mistakes”, he said.

So I asked him, “Well, when did it ever become about the team?”

He looked at me dumbfounded, almost as if I challenged every belief he’s ever had/been told since he was a kid.

I continued, “Here’s the truth about team environments - they’re not built to help you succeed.”

The dumbfounded look now turned to confusion.

I continued, “I mean, think about it - teams are designed to do one thing and that’s to win. They then go out and recruit players who can fulfill a role to help them win. At the end of the day, they promote those who do well at their job and squeeze out those who don’t. All the BS about “helping players develop” is unfortunately the exception, not the norm. So, why in gods name would we ever try to play well for the team instead of simply becoming the best at your job???”

*Mic drop*

Silence - I thought I went too hard for a second - I could see he was processing.

Then, out of no where with that “click” behind his eyes he says, “You’re right. That’s really all they care about. Even when they tell me they care about us and us being our best, they really don’t. They always put pressure on us to win and no matter what, this is always the main focus. No matter what they say, they’re there for themselves. And I need to be my best self. Plain and simple.”

I said, “Yes!! But you have to remember something: you signed up for this. And that’s a great thing! But if you’re going to do this right, then you need to understand what you really need to focus on instead of what you think you need to focus on. And that’s being the best version of yourself.”

Needless to say, after that day, the breakthrough was massive - he started prioritizing himself and stopped prioritizing trying to please the coaching staff.

Instead of trying to play well he started focusing on mastering his craft.

Instead of trying to make the coaches happy he reminded himself about what made him special and unique.

He was back to doing him and because of that, he dominated.

There’s an art to getting selfish to be selfless - it starts with the philosophy behind it which is to grow so that you have something to contribute to others.

It’s not about thinking only about yourself, but instead prioritizing your growth first - it’s funny - I hear so many athletes, and coaches, talk about this, but get is so wrong.

And once you master this, the rest takes care of itself.

We just released a podcast episode about why athletes need to be more selfish and how to do it.

Click here to watch the full episode ========> Click This Link.

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Until next time - stay resilient,

Matt “Get Selfish Now” Caldaroni